Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Sweet Matthew, today marks a year since God took you home but it still is so fresh. It's raining today and it makes me think God is washing over us with His own tears. It was raining the day you left us. How fitting I suppose. Hurricane Ivan contributed to your leaving us and now, because of Hurricane Katrina, today has been declared a National Day of Prayer. Again, how fitting that it's today. I received an e-mail just today that God knew would touch my heart and help me get through the day. For all who read this, especially you, Linda, Jesse, Jenny & Jessica, this is for you as well. The story goes like this: Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport as the daughter's departure had been announced. Standing near the security gate, they hugged and the mother said, "I love you and I wish you enough". The daughter replied, "Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Mom". They kissed and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I sat. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privace but she welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?". "Yes, I have", I replied. "Forgive me for asking but why is this a forever good-bye?". I am old and she lives so far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is the next trip back will be for my funeral", she said. When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, "I wish you enough". May I ask what that means? She began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone". She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail and she smiled even more. "When we said 'I wish you enough' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them". Then turning toward me, she shared the following, reciting it from memory.
I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.
She then began to cry and walked away.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them and an entire life to forget them.
It only took a minute in Matthew's presence to know he was special. But know, he will never be forgotten. Even though we wish we could have had more time with you here, I pray God will give us 'enough' for today and all the tomorrows till we see you again. Forever in my heart. Aunt Marsha

Aunt Marsha

September 16, 2005

9/16/05

My thoughts will be with your loved ones today; family, friends, and coworkers, as they remember the day, one year ago, that forever changed their lives. I met your mother in Washington D.C. this year, and we shared the pain of losing our beloved sons. I hope to see your Mom and Dad in a couple of weeks at the Parent's Retreat in Missouri.

Norie Haas
Mother of Brian Haas, E.O.W. 4/24/04

Norie Haas

September 16, 2005

To the Mother and Family of Officer Rittenhouse: Please know that he is remembered today. I too have lost a son and it is something that is with you every day for the rest of your life.
Especially when the anniversary approachs. You start remembering what he was doing the day he went to work, how many hours he had to live and wonder what his last moments were. You start recalling the last conversation you had with him and last time you saw him. You can't go over it, around it or under it, you have to go through it, but know that there are prayers being said for you that the Lord will sustain you on this his anniversary.
Please take care of yourselves and God bless you.

Lorraine Bond (Mother)
Hamilton County, Tn. Deputy Sheriff:
Donald K. Bond, Jr.
EOW: 9.06.01

September 16, 2005

Matt, its been a hard year for all of us without you. I was going to wait till this evening to go to the cemetary with your parents to see your memorial stone but Jason Mynatt asked me to go up there a little after midnight with him, so of course I did. Im glad they got it put up yesterday. its just like you, larger than life. It is only fitting that you have an 8ft or so tall stone. I wish there were some comfort that we could offer your parents. I know they miss you dearly as all of us do. I am glad that we get to spend today with your family, there should be a crowd at the station tonight for the candle light vigil in your honor. Please watch over all of us Matt. You will never be forgotten.

Jason Joseph
Harriman P.D.

September 16, 2005

"i'll cut out 'cha gizzard"...it's classic you and me...

and i miss you.

i was driving through town tonight a little after 11pm and everything about a year ago just flooded over me.
i mean, exactly one year ago this very night...i love you so much.
there really are no words that i can think to say...just memories of you...of us...and i miss you.
i can't believe it happened...like this whole past year has been some kind of dream that we're going to wake from. But Matt...I've come to realize what a desperate place this is and i know that i will be so happy to leave it one day...i can't wait.
you've done it...and you made it...i don't have anything to fear...i know how crazy i drove you when we were younger 'cause i always wanted to do everything you did...well, now i know that i don't have to fear death...because you've done it and made it...
it's kinda a strange thought i know, but you always said i was strange.

Matt, i know i can't see the angels...but i know they are here...and i know that God has sent them to minister to us...God has been so good to us. i love you my brother.
forever you are in my heart.

love,
your 'lil sis
jessica

September 15, 2005

It's Thursday night, 9o'clock, it's raining. Just like one year ago tonight...rain from a different hurricane. I'm trying not to relive the memories of that night. But those thoughts are hard to control- so much denial, "What?! What?!", my brain screamed all the way to the hospital. How could ANYTHING happen to you? This is not happening. Then to see you. Torn between the enormous fear and the physical pain of knowing you were gone from us. Thinking frantically how I JUST saw you yesterday. Yesterday you hugged me and kissed the top of my head and twice said, "I love you, sis". I can feel the soft scratchiness of your uniform on my left cheek. Never without your vest-- you were a rock.

Life is so different- sometimes mundane without your stories and your presence. At times it is so stifling here that I have to remind myself over and over.. We are in this world, not OF this world. Thank God for sending the good moments. Bridges that carry us from one day to the next. The letters, the reflections, the tributes. The people we would not have met otherwise, who help us know a part of you that you were too humble to share.

The kids miss their Uncle Matt. When they speak of you theirs is such a profound and simple and joyful love. They want to talk about happy memories and plan ahead to the fun things they will do with you in heaven. Ella wants you to come eat spaghetti at her house. Ethan thinks you are changing old ladies flat tires constantly because "there are no bad guys to chase in heaven, mom."

The dynamic shifted irreversibly in all our lives the night you died. It's a slow road trying to gain a foothold in this new existance- each doing it in our own way and time. Learning to accept that you ARE alive and yet away from us for the moment is very hard. But know you are loved. You are so very loved.

It was a good (blessed, fortunate, hilarious) twenty-five years, baby brother. It will be a spectacular eternity.

Jenny Rittenhouse-Guinn

September 15, 2005

Hi Matt, Your name is all over town, I'm thankful for that. To remind people you still live on, and inspire others to stay strong, as you were.Your team is still doing a great job, even though they deeply miss you. Say hi to my dad when you see him. God Bless your family, they are in my prayers this week.

Rebecca Kelly

September 15, 2005

Dearest cousin Matthew,
There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you. It's such a good feeling, looking into my rear view mirror seeing your name across the back window. It makes me feel safer like you are with me. I regret so much that we lived so far apart. I wish I could have been there with you. I wish I could have been part of so many of the hilarious stories I hear about you. But what brings me the most joy is knowing that we will have an eternity of those times together! All of us will! The whole family! That is truly so awsome! For now cousin, I will think of you always. Uncle Jesse, Aunt Lennie, Jenny, and Jessica I love you all and you are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Love you forever cousin,
Sarah

September 15, 2005

A million times we've needed you
A million times we've cried
If love alone could've saved you,
You never would have died.

In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
No one else will ever fill.

It broke our hearts to lose you,
But you didn't go alone,
Part of us went with you
The day God took you home.

September 15, 2005

Precious Son of My Life,
We just got back from having your stone set at the cemetary. It's beautiful---just like you. I just can't get my mind around it all. I don't see how I ever will while I'm still here on earth. As I pulled back out onto the highway to come back to the shop my mind started doing that frantic "trying to grasp it all" thing and I literally got sick at my stomach. Immediately a truck pulled up beside me and kept pace all the way through town. Yes, you know, even before I tell you--it had a Matthew sticker in the window. The second I saw it I started crying as I heard you say, "Mom, it's ok, I'm right here beside you." I kept my eyes on your sticker all the way to the shop. Thank you--it was so obvious. If I told Chief and your department everyday for the rest of my life here I still don't know if they could understand what those "920 wings" have come to mean to us. I love you Baby Boy. Forever and Always.
Momma

September 14, 2005

Family, Friends, & Loved Ones of P.O. Matt Rittenhouse---My deepest symapthy to you all for the loss of a wonderful man. Know that I will be praying for you all.

I came to this page, after reading several reflections from Matt's mom on other officer's ODMP pages. My heart breaks for you. I was engaged to Deputy Sheriff Joshua Blyler (EOW: 5.2.04). I understand the pain that comes from losing the person you love most in this world. It has been the most difficult year and four months of my life, since losing Josh. I know that there aren't any words that can be said to heal the broken hearts we have or pick up the shattered pieces of our hearts....just know that you and your family will be in my prayers. Your reflections on Matt's page and so many other's pages have been a true encouragement. Take care.

In deepest sympathy,
Kelly

Kelly Gillain

September 12, 2005

dearest linda and jesse

it was so wonderful to talk with you. thank you for sharing your son with us. as the anniversay approaches please know our prayers and with you and your family. the 1st is very hard. as we approach our 2nd anniversay we pray for the strenght god showed us at the 1st.
our love to you all.

kathe starks
mother of a precious son
officer daniel matthew starks
eow 10/25/03

September 12, 2005

Hi Matt... I can't begin to tell you how much I love you man. I remember all the times in school you about drove me crazy and then you would flash that smile and it didn't matter what you guys were doing. Thanks for being a wonderful person. I will never forget the trip we took to Europe. You mom gave me some copies of pictures she found of us and the other guys at the wall in Copenhagen. I hope they got the hotel room aired out where we smoked our Cuban cigars. LOL Whenever I am in town I always try and go by and see your mom and dad. Usually we end up sheading a few tears together. Your mom and dad are wonderful people. I am lucky to have them as my friends. I miss you buddy. One day we will see each other again and I will get one of your big bear hugs. I was so lucky to get to spend a day with you last summer at the park, helping decorate. Till we meet again. Your friend... Steve

Steve Todd
former teacher at Harriman High

September 11, 2005

To Linda and Jess and other loved ones of Matt Rittenhouse:

As Matt's anniversary date is approaching, please know that a blue candle will be lit here in California in his memory on this the anniversy week of his death. My prayers and thoughts are with you as I know this will be a hard week. May your loving memories of Matt help sustain you and comfort you and ease your broken hearts.
Thinking of you with love in my heart and sharing your unbearable grief,
Phyllis Loya

Phyllis Loya, mother of fallen officer
Larry Lasater, PPD eow 4/24/05

September 11, 2005

Just wanted to stop in and say that I was thinking about you today and that you were in my prayers. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten. Please keep watch over your family and try and ease their broken hearts. There are no words that I can say to them to help except that I know their pain. You will never be forgotten Jesse.

Robert Gordon, father of fallen officer Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Robert Gordon

September 10, 2005

Hi Sweety, I talked to your mom and dad the other day what great poeple they are. Your mom gave me a picture of you it means the world to me I put it with Thomas' pictures. He still has the paintball gun you sold him. He doesn't play much anymore but he put it up safe because it was yours.
Friday is 1 year were did the time go, we still miss you and thinking of you still brings tears to my eyes.

Matt, you ARE a great person.

Lavada

September 10, 2005

MATT I WAS DRIVING DOWN THE HIGHWAY THE OTHER NIGHT AND SEEN YOUR MEMORIAL CROSS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND HAD ALOT OF THOUGHTS GO THROUGH MY MIND. ONE OF THEM WAS THAT WE BOTH HAD THE EXACT SAME BIRTH DATE. THIS YEAR WHEN IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY AND EVERYBODY WOULD TELL ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I WOULD ALSO TELL THEM THAT IT WAS YOURS AS WELL AND NOT TO FORGET. WE MISS YOU BROTHER.

MELTON
RCSO

September 9, 2005

One year is approaching and lately I can't get Matt off my mind. He really came to mind while I was on my way to work and heard a song on the radio. I thought that I'd share the lyrics here.

MercyMe - Homesick


You're in a better place, I'v heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you


I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now


Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home


I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now


In Christ, there are no goodbye
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have
To see you again
To see you again


And I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now





We miss you so much here Matt. Until we see you again, you are always in our hearts.

Amanda Redmon

September 8, 2005

Linda,
It was so great to talk to you today on the phone, im glad we got a chance to get in contact! What a sweet lady you are! I am so sorry I never got to meet Matt - I am sure he was such a great son and police officer. I would love to tell you that everything will be alright, but it gets worse before it gets better. But things DO get better with time. Kathe and I are here if you ever need us! Look forward to hearing from you very soon. We are praying for you and your family everyday.

Matt - Thanks for the sacrifice you gave to keep others around you safe. I know you have met Daniel and I hope he is showing you around up there. You are an angel now keep close watch over your family and sisters.

Love,
Jessica Ruhl
Fiancee of Police Officer Dan Starks
EOW 10.25.03

Jessica

September 7, 2005

To Linda Rittenhouse-
We read your reflection left for us, thank you so much for your kind words. Please know that we are thinking of you and your family as the 16th approaches. We hold you close in our hearts.

The Family of Dave Grant EOW 5/31/04
Tuolumne Co.Sheriff's Dept.

September 7, 2005

Well, dear friend, nearing one year in heaven now. Wish you were here to go to Mickey D's and have a Double Quarter Pounder. Someone has to guard those streets of gold. Who better to do the job. So many things going on here, Matt, we need you to continue to watch over us. I miss you so much. Me and Jessica F. talk about you every time we see each other. I pray for your family at this time, know you are in our hearts always.

Bea Gibson

September 1, 2005

we miss you matt and look forward to the day we are reunited in heaven .

deputy sheriff
roane county sheriffs department

August 31, 2005

Matt,

We are getting so close to your anniversary and I feel so sad all over again. I'm happy that you don't have to deal with the burdens of this 'ol world, but I miss your daily humor and smiles. Your laugh was the best. I still hear it from time to time in the halls of the p.d.

I pray for much comfort for everyone right now, especially for your family. Each day brings a new trial and I pray for tremendous strength for all of them.

Today we are having a staff meeting. Wish you could endure this with us. Hopefully it won't be too bad. I do miss your hilarious outbursts that always seem to break the tension in those heated staff meetings. :)

We miss you Matt and think of you so very often. Please continue to watch over all of us. :)

Lova ya, "Fluff" :)

Executive Secretary
Harriman Police Department

August 31, 2005

matt,we are planning a candlelight vigil on september16th to honor you.i can`t remember one day at work since sep.16th2004 that i have not thought about you.every staff meeting it seems that has to be you.i just want you to know that you will always be part of or police family. miss you daily.

chief jack stockton
harriman police

August 30, 2005

DEAR LINDA AND JESS,
AS THE ANNIVERSARY OF MATT'S HOME GOING DRAWS NEARER, MY HEART GROWS HEAVY, I MISS HIM VERY MUCH. HE WAS A GOOD FRIEND, OFFICER AND BROTHER OFFICER. I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK OF THE VERSE IN PHILLIPIANS 1:3 "I THANK MY GOD UPON EVERY REMEMBERANCE OF YOU" I CANNOT SAY " I KNOW HOW IT FEELS " BECAUSE I HAVE NOT WENT THROUGH THAT EXPERIENCE. BETH AND I DID LOOSE TWINS WHEN WE WERE FIRST MARRIED, AND I LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING THEM WHEN I GET TO HEAVEN. I BET MATT AND THE TWINS ARE AT THE FEET OF JESUS SHOUTING HIS PRAISES RIGHT NOW. THE ONLY CONSOLATOIN THAT I CAN GIVE IS THAT ONE DAY, WE WILL SEE HIM AGAIN, AND I WILL GET TO SEE MY TWO CHILDREN I NEVER KNEW. GOD IS OUR STREANGTH AND OUR REFUGE IN TIME OF TROUBLE, HE WILL SEE US THROUGH OUR TROUBLES, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. THE BIBLE SAYS IN PSALMS 55:22 "CAST THY BURDEN UPON THE LORD, AND HE SHALL SUSTAIN THEE: HE SHALL NEVER SUFFER THE RIGHTEOUS TO BE MOVED" AND ALSO IN PSALMS 18:1,2 "I WILL LOVE THEE, O LORD, MY STRENGTH. 2. THE LORD IS MY ROCK, AND MY FORTRESS, AND MY DELIVERER; MY GOD, MY STRENGTH, IN WHOM I WILL TRUST; MY BUCKLER, AND THE HORN OF MY SALVATION, AND MY HIGH TOWER" GOD IS OUR STRENGTH IN TIME OF TROUBLE, JUST LEAN ON HIM AND HE WILL HELP YOU THROUGH. I LOVE YOU GUYS. SIGNED, LT GARY W. NELSON AND FAMILY, PHIL. 4:13

LT. GARY W. NELSON
KINGSTON P.D.

August 28, 2005