Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Thank you for the reflection left at my son's page. I have visited Larry's page before and have left reflections. I thought I would drop in and leave a short note to his family. I know the pain everyone in the Lasater family is feeling. Holidays, special family events, are happy times, but they are not the same anymore with him not there with you. We go through the motions of smiling but deep down our hearts are forever broken and thinking of how it use to be. Keep Larry's memory alive and tell his son every day how he is looking down on him and walking at his side and loves him even though he is not here in body but in spirit. Our lives have been changed forever and when our sons were babies, we carried them in our arms, now we carry them in our hearts and will for as long as we walk this earth. Larry is a true hero who not only served his country in the military, but carried on in a professional manner in law enforcement. I salute him for his bravery and dedication. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten because Heroes Never Die. Keep watch over your loved ones and visit them in their dreams in vivid color with that beautiful smile you have, hold them so they can once again feel your warmth.

Bob Gordon, father of Fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

August 11, 2006

This reflection was found on another fallen officer's site and has been modified for Larry.

LARRY'S HANDS

Larry, some thirty-five years, sat on the patio bench.
He didn't move, just sat with his head down staring at his hands.

When I sat down beside him he didn't acknowledge my presence and the longer I sat I wondered if he was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb him but wanting to
check on him at the same time, I asked him if he was OK.

He raised his head and looked at me and smiled.
Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking, he said in a clear voice.

I didn't mean to disturb you, Larry, but you were just sitting here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK, I explained to him.

Have you ever looked at your hands he asked.
I mean really looked at your hands?

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them.
I turned them over, palms up and then palms down.
No, I guess I had never really looked at my hands as I
tried to figure out the point he was making.

Larry smiled and related this story:

Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, and
how they have served you well throughout your years.

These hands have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler when I crashed upon the floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back.

As a child my mother taught me to fold them in prayer.
I gently stroked my mother's face with them, and lifted them up to show I wanted to be held when I was a toddler.

I held on to my big brother James' hands with my smaller hand, and there are numerous childhood photographs of the two of us together with my hand in his.

They tied my shoes and pulled on my boots.

They helped me pin another opponent in many wrestling matches during my high school years.

They were used to raise a beer mug or can to my lips when I was socializing.

They held my rifle and helped me to to be a good commanding officer to my Marines who I loved as if they were my children.

They brought flowers to my mother-in-law Helen and champayne to my father-in-law Joe when I asked for their treasured youngest daughter's hand in marriage.

They dried the tears of my nieces and nephews.

They caressed the love of my life, my beautiful Jo Ann.

They held the sonogram of my son Cody which I proudly displayed to family and friends.

They wired my home, installed floors, painted walls, installed windows and doors as I fixed our home for my family. I used them to also work on a lot of friends' homes and I hope they think of me when they look around.

They put together the crib for my son Cody, and put different color stars on clothes hangers for him so his baby wardrobe would be sorted according to size.

They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent.
My friend Mike Ross said you could pick me out in a crowd when it was cold because they would turn so red.

They were uneasy and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn nephew Seth in March of 2005, and thought what it would be like to hold my own son Cody in a few months

They showed the world that I was engaged and loved someone special when I placed the ring on her finger.

They wrote the letters home and trembled and shook when I buried those I loved.

Yet, they were strong and sure when I used them to safeguard others.

They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken, dried and raw.

These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness and gentleness of my life.

But more importantly it will be these hands
that God will reach out and take when he leads me home.
And with my hands He will lift me to His side and there I
will use these hands to touch the face of God.

I will never look at my hands the same again.

Now, I realize God reached out and took my Larry's hands
and led him home. When my hands are hurt or sore, or when I stroke the face of my loved ones, I think of Larry.

I know he has been stroked and caressed and held
by the hands of God.

I, too, want to touch the face of God and feel his hands upon my face. Someday when we are together again with Larry

(Author of original Unknown)

If anyone who knew Larry was moved by this and has a memory about what Larry's hands means to them, please share it.

August 11, 2006

To my dearest son Larry

Mom hasn't written to you here in some time, although I talk to you many times a day every day. Washington was amazing and you had so many people there for you, so many California family, friends and co-workers; North Carolina and New York family; the whole Ross family and your Marine friends/brothers from all over the U.S. The whole week was unforgettable and the support for all our fallen heroes was beyond description.

You are so loved and so missed by so many.

Cody is absolutely amazing. Jo Ann and I beleive he thinks like you...you can see him trying to figure out how things work and he has that intense look just focusing in on whatever or whoever is intriguing him. I love getting down on the floor and playing with him...the sound of his laughter warms my heart.

Cody enjoys all his cousins. He and Seth are both very good about sharing. Just a few more weeks and I think Cody will be walking as he now stands up and holds on the table taking little side steps. It will be so fun to see Cody and Seth playing together when they are both able to walk and run. We are so lucky to have Cody and I know you watch over him and us every day. Sometimes when the going gets tough and I know I am but one breath away from you, I remind myself that your strongest desire for me would be to be here for the family and to be the best mother, mother-in-law and grandmother I can be.

As your mother, I could have looked the whole earth over and never found a more loving, faithful wife to you than Jo Ann and I love her for that.

I believe you know all that happens to us, and Jo Ann and I both received a distressing letter from someone trying to serve their own political agenda. We took the appopriate action, and we will never cease in our quest for the appropriate and full measure of justice that you and we deserve for your brutal murder.

Your grandmother is now with you. In her last final hours, I placed a picture of you and James beside her, and her fingertips were touching that picture when she died. Based on her earlier dream of you coming to get her, I know that you were waiting for her.

A body in its physical form is for a lifetime, but a spirit is for all eternity. You are my most precious child, and your spirit and soul will always be intertwined with mine.

Loving you for all eternity,

Mom

August 11, 2006

Lasater Family and Friends,

Thank-you for your neverending support throughout the hurtful times we've experienced in the loss of three wonderful officers that served the SFPD (Zak, Sgt. T., and Nick, respectively). Your reflections have not gone unnoticed, and are greatly appreciated. Bless you all, semper fi.

sfpd, bayview

August 5, 2006

JoAnn,
I can't begin to understand the pain or many different emotions you must have, as I have never walked in your shoes nor are any two people alike. I will just say you and Cody are in my thoughts! You are a brave women, Larry would be very proud. Hold on to your memories and the special love and friendship that you and Larry shared. The love you shared with Larry will help Cody grow to be a wonderful caring man. He will feel the love and strength his parents shared. Larry was a wonderful man and he is missed by many. I know he is with you and Cody hold on to this thought. I continue to look forward to hearing how Cody is growing and changing and how you are doing. I hope these word will give you a moment of comfort and not cause you any additional pain.
You are both in my prayers and I will continue to keep you there.

Pittsburg Resident

July 21, 2006

Since I've been assured that nothing else on your page will be published without my authorization (which of course I'll never give)I feel more comfortable writing here. I know that people care about Cody and check this website to find out what he's up to so I'll continue to write here and also in a private journal. There are relatives and even people I don't know that knew you and want to check on our son and maybe don't feel comfortable calling me to find out how he is.
I've read reflections for other officers and it seems that most wives find comfort writing on this website. I have no idea why this helps. Especially since I'm a very private person. Maybe it's a way to let people know just how special you are to me.

Cody will be wearing a tux for Les & Summer's wedding. He tried it on and he looked so handsome. I can't wait to see him coming down the aisle in the police car. You'd be so proud. I'm dreading seeing all the guys in the wedding and knowing that you should be up there.

Love you

July 20, 2006

JoAnn,
I saw you and Cody in DC and spoke with your family; they sat a few rows behind me at the candle light service. I have kept up with Cody on this website and I always look forward to finding out what he's up to! He is so beautiful! I was excited to see the memorial bear and pictures at Larry's name on the wall...such cute pictures. I know Larry is still with you both. I gave my husband's business card to Louise with our numbers and address on it. I'd love to keep in touch. We are on opposite coasts from one another, but know that I think of you, Cody and your family often. I am a mother and married to a cop, who nearly died the same night my father was murdered. They both coded in the ED at the same time. I'm also an RN, and knew their injuries were life-threatening. I had to let my Daddy go to heaven, and thank God that I got to keep my husband, but we never have any promises for tomorrow.
I read that you won't be posting on this site anymore, but I hope you will read it. I will miss the Cody updates, but I understand your need for privacy. We haven't gone to court yet for our murder/attempted murder case, but I know I will need support as we go through that process.
Take care and give Cody lots of kisses! God bless you and all who loved Larry.

Lori Johnson Rowley, wife of NC LEO
Daughter of Fallen Hero, Sgt. James Johnson, EOW 11/11/04, FCSO, NC

July 19, 2006

This was the beautiful song performed in D.C.

"HE WAS"

Not a badge or a uniform, not a flashing blue light,
Not a faceless nameless officer,not a siren in the night,
He was...

He was his mother's precious baby, he was his fathers loving son
He was his sister's favorite brother, he was a friend to everyone.
He had a life that had a meaning, he had a future with his wife,
He had children whom he lived for, he had a job that took his life

Not a badge or a uniform, not a flashing blue light,
Not a faceless nameless officer,not a siren in the night,
He was...

He never called himself a hero, just an ordinary man
But there were things that he believed in, and a need to take a stand
So he lived each day with courage and he prayed each night for strength
And his life must now be measured by its depth, not by its length

Not a badge or a uniform, not a flashing blue light,
Not a faceless nameless officer,not a siren in the night,
He was...

He was his mother's precious baby, he was his fathers loving son
He was his sister's favorite brother, he was a friend to everyone.

July 18, 2006

May your celebration of new life be what it is today.
The second best gift from God, Leading from the first best gift from God. Both of equal importance.
~Believe~
"Coincidences" are for ~Non~ ~Believers~
Spritualy you have both right there always with you.
I will miss you, but respect your privacy.
Always, Praying for you and your family's eternal and ever lasting peace.

Angel of Peace

July 12, 2006

This website has helped me so much to sort out my feelings but I'm not going to write as much. I'll keep most thoughts in a personal journal to you. I have a good reason but I'll just keep that to myself.

Our son will be one tomorrow. I can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast. It seems like yesterday that you took that last picture of me pregnant.

I love you and miss you.

July 10, 2006

Daniel has been different since his surgery. He almost seems depressed. Denise asked him what would make him happy and he said "If I tell you what would make me happy it would make you sad." She told him he could tell her and he said that what would make him happy is his Godfather. How sad.

Cody's getting huge. I noticed today when he was standing up that he looks tall all of a sudden. He has more teeth coming. He's getting quite a personality...he cracks me up. You would crack up at the things I do to make him laugh. You'd make fun of me too because sometimes I have to really go all out to get him cracking up. It's worth it though because his laugh is the best sound in the world. It reminds me a little of your laugh because it's kind of raspy.

Love you always

July 4, 2006

Hi my name is Connie Vick I also lost my husband in the line of duty May 6, 2005. I received a phone call last night from a friend telling me to read what you had wrote in your last entry. She stated she thought it sounded just like me. She said this is like your soul mate. Yes we do have alot in common. It is amazing to me also what people will say. You were so right about us losing more. HELLO!!! I can't believe that people actually think that there is a comparison. There is none. I also have kids 16 and 13. When people ask how I do it I tell them it is those two that get me up and going every day. Some days are worse than others. If we want to whine and feel sorry for ourselves I think we earned that right. What I keep trying to tell people is that I did not sign up for this. I was married for almost 17 years and I expected to have many more. Not to have my life turned upside down. So alot of days I don't feel like doing this. Being the widow. Expected to do everything everyone else thinks that I should do. I am 38 I did not sign up to be a widow this young. As did you and all the other widow's out there. Well I am not much of a computer person. At all! I can barely return calls but... You did deserve a note to say you are so not alone. You keep strong and take care of that wonderful little boy. I see more and more of my husband in my kids all the time. I will actually try to keep in touch. Bye for now. Connie

Connie
St. Paul Police Dept.

June 22, 2006

Joanne,

Although I will never know your pain, I feel so much grief for you. Nobody can put themselves in your shoes because they were not married to Larry. It hasn't been that long and you have every right to feel the way you do. Don't let anyone take that from you. I thought of you on Father's Day...I thought of Larry and Cody and how they will never share a Father's Day together. I am a total stranger to you, with only a minor connection and I am heartbroken for you and Cody and what was taken from you.
I met Lietenant Mike Burton with Contra Costa Sheriff's and he shared some great memories of Larry with Damian Jackson and myself. At one point I had tears in my eyes; what a phenomenal man Larry was! Larry is up in our Hall of Warriors and Officer Jackson will be able to share with Class 14, what an unselfish and motivated person he was. This will make them even more motiviated in their training and lives, to strive to be the person Larry was. I pray God give you strength and courage to keep moving on day by day. When you look into Cody's eyes, know that he is lookign back at his hero, just as Larry was yours.

God Bless you.

Shanon Dreyer
Palomar College Police Academy

June 20, 2006

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE KIND WORDS AND THOUGHTS YOU CONVEYED IN TERRY'S MEMORIAL PAGE.
WE WERE DEEPLY SADDENED TO LEARN OF THE LOSS OF YOUR SON LARRY ON APRIL 24, 2005. LARRY WAS OBVIOUSLY AN OUTSTANDING YOUNG MAN, SERVING HIS COUNTRY IN THE MARINE CORP, AND HIS COMMUNITY AS A POLICE OFFICER.
I KNOW THE HEARTACHE OF LOSING A HUSBAND, BUT I CANNOT IMAGINE THE GRIEF A MOTHER WOULD FEEL LOSING A SON.

debbie and steve foster
wife & brother of officer terry foster

June 16, 2006

Father's day is coming up and I'm dreading it. I was day dreaming about what that day would've been like. We probably would've gone out to breakfast and Cody would give you a Raiders mug or something like that. I would have had Cody's picture taken in a Raiders outfit or UNC. Then we would've gone to my parent's house and spent the day there with everyone. I know you would be thinking of Hank that day and now I can only hope that you're together. I'm going to leave a little note at the cemetery asking people that visit that day not to leave anything that says "Happy Father's day." I know that I should just be grateful that people are remembering you that day but it really bothered me on your birthday to see "Happy Birthday" balloons there. Your birthday will never be a happy day again and Father's day will always be painful.

Cody has a new face that he does. You would laugh. He looks like a little goober. He closes his eyes, bucks his teeth and puts his head back. He's trying to be funny. I hope he has a great sense of humor. God knows I need laughter in my life.

I asked you to watch over Daniel this week when he had his operation and you did. He's coming home from the hospital tomorrow. Poor kid had to miss the last week of school. Seeing him so helpless was so hard. I watched Dominic today and out of the blue he looked up and said "Uncle Larry is talking to me." I asked him what Uncle Larry was saying and he said "He misses you." Then he wanted to play "mommy and daddy" and he wanted to be the son and he said "Let's pretend Uncle Larry is alive and he's the daddy." You're not only missing out on Cody's life but your nephews too. Joseph is graduating from 8th grade tomorrow. You met him when he was only 4 or 5.

I miss you more as time passes. I still can't believe it.

Love you always

June 16, 2006

Too often in life the word "hero" is used with little regard as to what a hero is or represents. I served two tours of duty " In Country " and witnessed men reacting to situations with little or no regard for their own safety. Not to say they were careless, but they were thinking what the outcome may be if they didn't react and swiftly. That is sacrifice. Bravery, is caused by the love for your "brothers", country, and family. Larry Lasater Jr. is not only a Brave man, he is also a hero. A hero is someone to look up to and to set one's own goals in life by their influence. One should be proud to have their children look to Larry as a role model. Too often duty, honor, and country is overlooked. Larry not only gave his life for Duty, Honor and Country - he will be remembered in our hearts and inspire others to be willing to go the same, making our country a safer, better place to raise our families.

Semper Fi,
Lit'l Dave Sgt. USMC '68 - '72

Sgt. U.S. Marines 1968 - 1972
Viet-Vet / cousin

June 15, 2006

my fellow marine and brother in blue, i wish you and yours a blessed Father's Day, a time to reflect on fun times and to spend with family.

i thought my schedule was too full to spend w/my dad until we lost Isaac (Espinoza), and i saw how lucky i was to still have my dad- a cancer survivor. no matter how tired or how "busy", i find that time for my dad and family. be appreciative of what you have, and thankful for the time spent...selfless. semper fi.

ofc. brown
sfpd, bayview mids

June 15, 2006

I married a cop recently and reading your reflections tears me up inside. I know if I lost my husband I would probably feel the same as you. I don't know how I would do it, and I don't understand how people think you can move on so easily. I married in my early 30's, dated plenty, so I know there is not one guy out there like my husband. I would probably be alone for a long time................

I honor you for your strength and class. I honor you for the way your still in love with your husband. I know your husband is looking down and is so proud to have you as a wife. I don't know you and I am proud of the wife you were to Officer Lasater.

God Bless You and Cody. My prayers are with you both.

May Cody be just like his daddy and mommy! Faithful, Loyal, and Proud!

June 14, 2006

OFFICER LASATER,

MY NAME IS CADET YBARRA. I AM PROUD TO SAY THAT MY CLASS HAS DEDICATED OUR YEAR TO YOU. THROUGH ALL OF YOUR SACRIFICES IT ALMOST SEEMS AS IF A YEAR IS JUST NOT ENOUGH. I JUST GOT OFF OF LIMITED DUTY TODAY. RUNNING IS MY DOWNFALL, BUT WHEN I READ ALL OF THESE REFLECTIONS AND I THINK OF YOU AND YOUR DEDICATION I CAN'T HELP BUT KEEP MYSELF GOING. I JUST WANTED TO THANK YOU FOR THE DRIVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME. I HOPE TO SATISFY TAC EVEN MORE SO IMPRESS THEM, BUT MOSTLY, I HOPE TO HONOR YOU AND YOUR SACRIFICES. THANK YOU FOR GIVING US SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR. YOU AND YOUR FAMILY ARE IN MY PRAYERS.

SEMPER FI,
PRIDE IS FOREVER.

CADET YBARRA, ANTONIO
PALOMAR COLLEGE POLICE ACADEMY

June 8, 2006

I know you visited me the other night. It was so real! I wish you would do that more often.

Cody is working on his sounds so much lately. He says "ma ma", "ta ta", "tic", "shh", and his latest and favorite "Oh" and he holds his mouth in the O shape for a few seconds. He knows he's being cute because he gets that little smirk. I'm just waiting for the "da da" sound. It'll break my heart.

Today was his last "creepin' crawlers" class. We signed up for the next session since he enjoys it so much. I'm trying to keep him busy. He's like you that way. He likes to be busy. Just like you though he'll have a lazy day and just want to nap.

Love you

June 6, 2006

Cody can pull himself up now. He'll stand there like a big boy and play with his toy that's a little table. He pushes all the buttons and is so proud of himself. I think he's going to be walking around his first birthday. I don't know if I'm ready for that. I went out to dinner with my friends and I actually ordered Cody pasta. That's a big step for me since I'm so paranoid about him choking that I thought he'd be eating baby food until he's 15. Of course I cut it up into tiny pieces but I'm getting better about it.

I went to a wedding on Saturday. I couldn't stop the tears. It was so hard because I'm truly happy for them and the wedding was beautiful but it brought back so many memories of our day. I'll go to Les and Summer's wedding and Phil and Tiffany's but after that I'm done. Unless Monique gets married I'll never go to another wedding after the next two again. It's too much. It was like being in my own private hell. I did okay at the reception but the wedding was brutal.

People say the dumbest things to me. A woman who doesn't even know me asked me if I'm dating. It caught me by surprise so I didn't have a good response. I just told her that my husband was the one for me. How can someone ask that question? It's so insensitive! Now I'm ready for that question and I've decided to respond in a way that will make the person feel like an idiot. Even people I know really well have said some really insensitive things. Maybe they're just clueless about the subjects you talk to a widow about. Or maybe I'm really sensitive now...I don't know.

Your cat Scout misses you. Every now and then he wanders around the house and meows like he's looking for you. Poor guy. Cody loves Scout and Louie and is pretty gentle most of the time. I think he's going to love animals. Not that I'm giving him any other choice.

Miss you more each day...

June 6, 2006

Larry -
On this Memorial Day, and every day, you are in my thoughts and my heartfelt prayers with Jo Ann and Cody as you watch over them and all of us carrying on the fight.
Today is a day for warriors and heroes. You are both.
Semper Fi, brother.

Pride is forever.

Officer Damian Jackson
Escondido PD / Palomar Police Academy

May 29, 2006

wishing you a blessed Memorial Day...to those who have gone before us. semper fi, and thank-you for your service.

ofc. patty brown, former marine sgt.
sfpd, bayview mids

May 29, 2006

We had Cody last night. He's such a joy. I can tell that he's a part of you. I took him walking last night around the Marina. We stopped at the skate board park to watch the skateboarders and bikers. He was in awe! I think Jo Ann's in trouble - he has your daredevil gene!! (Maybe some came from Jo Ann too - she did do cartwheels on the wall in Hawaii....). He just loved watching the bikers and skateboarders!! Then, we walked through the bocce ball courts and this lady stopped me and exclaimed, 'What a beautiful baby!!". I said, 'I know!!' Then I explained that since he is my nephew, it's OK for me to brag!! But, truthfully, Cody is exceptionally cute. Even Joseph and Vincent comment on how cute Cody is!!! He loves his cousins. We also watched their baseball practice and he can pick their voices out when they are on the baseball field and he looks for them! You would be so proud of him - He's so smart and good natured! I'm sure you're smiling down on him from heaven. We miss you.

Louise
sister-in-law

May 26, 2006

To Larry's wife Jo Ann and beautiful son Cody,

It is so hard to understand why God has Larry with him and we don't. We will never know, but we must just remember that he had a special purpose for him and that we have an angel watching over all of us.

I was at the candlelight vigil in Washington D.C. and heard all the speeches read. The one that caught my attention the most was the one speaking about the pain and suffering, and how sorry he was for those so close to the fallen officer. But there was one person he forgot to mention (I am sure you noticed, for those who were there) he had left out the "spouse" title. The wife or husband was not mentioned in that speech. I was very hurt that they were missed.

I just would like Jo Ann to know that I thought of her during that speech and how hurt she must be. Love for your spouse is so special and undescribeable. The love that you both built on each other can never be forgotten or broken. When a child is born into this world you can never lose that love, it is an expected love. But when you find your true love, your soul mate, your best friend that is a love that cannot be broken or damaged by anyone! It is a love that is so strong and unexpected that you soon realize how could I not ever know that this love was out there for me to share with Larry. I hope I made sense. I just want you to know that you and Cody are in my thoughts and prayers everyday. Please don't ever think that a "spouse" is not in pain with this lost because we all know they are.

May 25, 2006