Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

4,002 people, my heart was twice the size, until some idiotic freak came in and screwed up everything. My dad. But don’t get me wrong I’m glad I was born just after that thing always got worse. Well let’s get down to the facts I HATE HIM!!! But I love him at the same time. He left me when I was little, and I found out where he left to when I was 9. JAIL. I was surprised a little but after a while I got it. I was starting to understand everything it was all told every word it was all true he drinks and drives and everything else. But it couldn’t be, my dad is supposed to be normal drug free. Well I always think about why me. What did I do to deserve this? But then an angel from heaven or as I put it my savior. DREW, he became my step dad my hero. To me the best dad in the world. I can’t explain him really he just knew what I had been through and respected that some days I just needed a little boost to tell me that he’s here for me and yes my other dad was an idiot. Now some of you people friends or family will read this and think why would Alex share her life like this or hate her father. Well then maybe you should give me a call because even though I have to live with the fact that now I have no dad or no second parent to rely on when im hurt sad need help or anything like that. My mom is the greatest person on earth and that’s a fact everyone should know. When drew was alive I felt safe because I had 2 parents but now i only have 1 and instead of her protecting me im trying my best to protect her so I can have 1 parent that can be there for me forever when you guys are done reading this its ok you can cry or just say wow because that’s how I look at my life it’s a big roller coaster that you cant get off.

alex
daughter

September 19, 2006

did I mention that I love you? ; ) I miss having you around Drew....sometimes I can still feel your skin...if I close my eyes...I miss you baby.. always... me

September 19, 2006

Life aint always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart

Life aint always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day

But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

CHORUS
No, life aint always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride

Life aint always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin all these lonely miles

And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way

But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin it's sweet time

No, life aint always beautiful
But i know i'll be fine
Hey, life aint always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

"Life Ain't Always Beautiful" by Gary Allan

Thanks for the ride......I love you more than you could ever know....it's been 18 months now since I've seen your smile....some days go by so easily, others are almost unbearable....I love you with all my heart.. always, me

September 18, 2006

Hey there Drew.....I know it has been a little while since I have last written and I am sorry. I have finally finished with the FTO phase and on my own. I have your pin on my police bag, the bookmark memorial that Chrissy gave me on my clipboard, and a rose from your grave on the dash of my truck! Not that I need reminders, I just know that you are there all the time. You are keeping busy going from here to Florida to Carolina and to Virginia etc....just always know that you will always be a hero to us all. I am proud and honored to have met someone like you!

Chrissy, love you guys......I read Alex's reflection, she is growing up so fast! Much love to you all! I miss you!

Liz, love and miss you so much, always know that! You, Chrissy and the whole family please be safe.

Officer J.M. Lane
McKinney Texas PD

September 13, 2006

hi drew I miss you . school is good and band is good. I know your there with me every step of the way. You know that when people ask me who my dad is I used to say John, but I have a stepdad his name is Drew. Well I got tired of that so now I just say Drew but he past away. But then they say oh im so sorry and all that mushy gooey stuff.Well why are they sorry they didnt do anything or they did and there not telling anyone and they feel bad. Look I know there just trying to show there concern but how do I respond to that with an ok or thanks. Its hard to understand people sometimes and Im normal just because you died doesnt make me different. And plus after they tell you they feel bad they want to get in exact details of what happened, how did your dad die? and every other question. Sure sometimes I have to answer thyem or the'll think im some type of wrood unmannored kid. And all the extra attention is it really nessesary sure i like it but still.I wish I could tell you how I think of my dad but im not allowed to curse yet

alex
daughter

September 11, 2006

Do you remember this day? We were living in Virginia Beach. You hadn't even started wtih the Police Dept yet. I remember how upset you were. It was always in your blood to be a cop. It was always clear to me that that is what you were meant to be. Today and everyday, I am proud of you and what you did, proud of the man you were, the amazing man you were. I wish you were here! I miss you everyday baby.. love always, me

September 11, 2006

HI its me alex . I wanted to thank you for taking us in when no one else would. I just wish you could be here for us me skyler,austin,cj,and mom. Because I think Im going to go crazy if I here that some other person died. Oh did I tell you Steve Irwin that crocidile man he past away . I wanted to cry because he kinda ment a lot to me he was brave and sooo nice wellI miss you and love you lots Bye!!!!!!

alex
daughter

September 5, 2006

HEY BUD, "SCHERER HERE". I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT YOU ALOT LATELY. I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WE MISS YOU VERY MUCH AND WE STILL SPEAK OF THE LEGEND OF DREW ALL THE TIME. OH BY THE WAY HERE'S A WAIVE TO YOU PAL, LOL.

WE ARE ALWAYS GOING TO BE HERE FOR YOUR FAMILY AND WE MISS CHRISSY AND THE KIDS A GREAT DEAL. YOU WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN MY FRIEND

OFFICER C. A. SCHERER
SPD

August 31, 2006

Hi Chrissy ~

I've been thinking about you this whole week, with the kids starting school and everything. I can't believe Drew and Jesse have been gone for 17 months now - time, and life, is continuing on without them and it breaks my heart.

In a way this second year is harder than the first because during that first year you're just trying to get through everything. But now, as milestones and holidays and events all are coming around again it just emphasizes that they aren't here anymore. I never thought I'd be marking events in our lives with "before or after Jesse died" and I'm sure you didn't either. I've always loved the change of season - fall is my favorite time of year, especially where we live by the mountains when the leaves change the explosion of color is so beautiful - but change of season now means more passing of time without him.....

Anyway.....we need to talk soon and catch up on things. I'll give you a call. I just wanted you to know I was thinking of you and the kids. I hope everyone got back to school fine and that they are all settled in their new classes.

Much love, Chrissy.

~ Carin

August 31, 2006

Chrissy, thankyou for the kind words. All of you, including the 4 children are in my thoughts. I know Bill must have been a great police officer, I know that because I was a cop for 30 years and I have found that veterans from the military always seemed to be better officers, probably because they had discipline. I know Bill did not go into law enforcement for the money as we all know you don't become a cop if you want to be rich. It has to come from the heart and I know he had the heart. I want to leave a poem for you and the children that someone sent to me and it really hit home when I read it several times.
It is a poem by Richard Fife and you may have seen it before:

No person is ever truly alone.
Those who live no more,
Whom we loved,
Echo still within our thoughts,
Our words, our hearts.
And what they did,
And who they were,
Becomes a part of all that we are,
Forever.

Bill, come to your loved ones in their dreams, let them be in vivid color and let them feel your warmth to let them know you are okay and watching over them. You are a true hero and I know your family is very proud of you and they should be as you walked the Thin Blue Line.

Bob Gordon, father of Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon

August 22, 2006

I wanted to leave a reflection to let you know that you have not been forgotten nor will your loved ones or the Blue Family ever let that happen. I know their pain and the day to day struggle of just getting through the day. All they can do is take one day at a time. You are a true hero and will never be forgotten. Keep watch over your loved ones and protect them from harm and also those still out on patrol.

Bob Gordon, father of fallen Chicago Officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Chicago Gold Star Father

August 21, 2006

hey dad its me i miss you so much love ya

austin
son

August 21, 2006

hey dad its me imis you so much love ya

austin
son

August 21, 2006

You may never know how many lives you touched...your time with all of us was too short, but how much we gained from knowing you and loving you ....you are forever in our hearts ....17 months today...still hurts like yesterday.. I love you.. always, me

August 19, 2006

Happy Anniversary baby! 3 years ago today we stood with Pastor Randy...due you remember how I cried...it was the happiest day for me in a long time...I was so scared..so scared that it wouldn't last...that it would all fall apart like the first time...but we did it anyway...and it was great...except for the cake!!!! I still owe you for that one!! I love you and miss you everday....always, me

August 16, 2006

Hey Drew, just thought I would drop a note to let you know that I am still here.....still keeping you on my mind! I just read Chrissy's reflection and got even more sad. Just know that you and the rest of our brothers and sisters in blue are true heroes. We wont forget Drew, I promise! I also wanted to let you know that baby Drew is finally teething. Everything is fine on this end, thanks for watching over us. I would have never thought that as you were riding with me, one day I would be telling you goodbye. Still not fair, not to someone with the drive and dedication that you had. We miss you Drew.......see you soon enough my friend!

Chrissy and Liz........miss you guys! Stay safe ok? Talk to you soon.

Officer J. Lane
McKinney, TX P.D. (former Suffolk, VA P.D.)

August 15, 2006

Hey baby...saw the Trade Center movie this weekend...some people don't understand why I am so drawn to that stuff...it was hard.. when the police car pulled up into the driveway, how could I not remember the night that LT was at the door...It all happened so fast...I remember thinking in the car as we sped to the hospital "he is fine"...but somehow I could sense the urgency in his driving.. he tried so hard to be calm, and tell me he wasn't sure what was going on...what else was he supposed to say to me...and then in the movie, the mother says "how can I tell my daughter that her daddy is dead?" and I remember calling Skyler at 3 am...waking him from sleep...his mother telling him you were gone and his cries for you as he got on the phone...no..no one should ever have to tell their children that their daddy is gone...I got to sit with Alex and CJ..I got to hug them and hold them...and answer all their questions, but Skyler...all I had was the phone line....and what about poor Austin..wanting to grieve for his daddy, but not sure since he has Kenny...so there I am at the movie...knowing I will be crying the whole time.. wishing I was there with someone who would understand.. someone I could hug...someone who could feel my pain...the man next to me says "I was there"...OMG...it was like a gift from God..someone who did understand.. someone who felt my pain....I have to wonder if you had a part in that...I wanted to stay there and talk to him for hours.. how silly is that? I wish you could have been there...when that Marine says "we aren't leaving you..we're Marines.. we're here to save you"....I knew how proud you would have been or your Marines!! Well, baby, maybe one day I will see you again and we can talk all about this...and we can cry...and we can hug...I miss you everyday.. I love you... always, me

August 14, 2006

I love you..........always...........me

August 8, 2006

i love you so very much.

Liz
Sis

August 8, 2006

Hey Drew. Was just thinking about you. :)

Disp. Christina Gardner
Suffolk, VA PD

August 3, 2006

Hey, its me again Drew. I just wanted to say hello and that again, I am still around thinking about you. I am still going through my FTO phase, yeah it sucks to start over but it is ok. The funny thing is, I almost ran a stop sign the other day and I so thought about you! You made me almost do that didn't you? Just to get back at me.....hahah! Miss you my friend, this still hurts...it always will. To Chrissy and Liz.....much love to you both. You guys are always in my thoughts and prayers also. If you ever need anything, you know where I am and how to get in touch. Love you all! See you soon enough Drew, thanks for watching over us!

Officer John Lane
McKinney Texas PD (former Suffolk Va PD)

July 25, 2006

another 19th...I may not always write something here, but I always know it's the 19th...every month...I still can't believe you are gone...I was looking at your picture last night.. I can't believe how much time has passed....still feels like yesterday when I last saw you...I try not to think about that night, but when I do, it feels so much like a dream...I keep waiting to wake up ...I miss you baby.. I love you... keep smiling for me...I feel it when you do...always, me

July 19, 2006

Just wanted to let you know.....I am still here thinking about you my friend! See you soon enough Drew! Thanks for watching over us!

officer John Lane
McKinney Texas PD (former Suffolk Va PD)

July 16, 2006

Thank you for your dedicated service to our country and to law enforcement. Many broken hearts have been left behind and they think of you every day. You will never be forgotten by your loved ones, nor will the Blue Family ever let you be forgotten. You are a true hero and heroes never die. Wrap your wings around your loved ones and protect them and help them with their grief.

"Always in our hearts
Always in our words
Forever Young
Forever Blue
Our Guardian Angel"

Bob Gordon, father of fallen officer
Michael P. Gordon, EOW: 8/8/04

Bob Gordon, Asst. Chief - Retired
Riverside PD, IL

July 15, 2006

Just sitting here, home alone.. the house is so quiet...It is funny how sometimes I feel so alone, and others I feel at peace.. I guess that is to be expected...I wish you were here.. there are so many things I want to tell you...I miss our phone calls...you calling me to tell me about your day...me calling you to complain about mine..lol...I know that there are alot of people who don't know what they have...it takes losing someone to realize...but I will always know that you and I knew..didn't we baby? We knew...we knew how bad it could be, since we both had it so bad with the others...and then we knew how good it was suppposed to be when we found each other...maybe that is why I am able to continue living....cause I had the greatest love ever...and I had a man who loved me more than life itself...I know that if you ahd to choose, you would have always chosen me...how can I feel bad about that? I have but one regret Drew...and you know what that is...time...we didn't have enough time...I know that without me, you would have never lived your dream...and I know that in that moment, when your heart stopped, you were happy...happier than you had ever been in your whole life....and I take a little credit for that..lol.. you know I love you...exactly the way you were...you made me laugh like noone else can....I still laugh Drew....because that was how we were together...always laughing...always playing...it feels so good to laugh...you know, there are so many songs about death and dying, each one touches me....but one thing I don't get is the reference to the sun "sunny days seem to hurt the most"....for me it's the rain...always the rain...it's like when it's raining I feel you here...like just now.. I sat down and started writing this to you...then all of a sudden it's pouring outside...it wasn't when I came here to start this...I hope that is you...washing away the pain...we've come a long way baby!! I miss you Drew.. I will always miss you..and I will always, always love you....no matter where I go...no matter what I do.. and one day they will lay in the ground beside on that mountain side..and finally we will be together again....it's going to take a while, but I will be there with you Drew...I can't wait for you to hold me in your arms again....or watch you being Shrek!!! you were such a grumpy butt!!! but I know now, part of that was your heart... omg..the strain you must have endured to carry on for all those years...I thank God for letting me have you for as long as he did...I know we were meant to be there for each other...to make eachother stronger...thanks for loving me...I love you baby..always and forever.. me

July 13, 2006