Family, Friends & Fellow Officers Remember...

Bran,
Happy Valentines in heaven. Our 2nd apart...

The boys got Harley T-shirts and a little motorcycle for valentines day. I stopped at the Harley store to get a donation for the poker run. Tyler picked out all kinds of cool motorcycle stuff for them. He wanted to buy a real motorcycle but just couldn't convince the dealer to make the deal with M&M's. Tyler had his annual kidney check up today. I don't know the results yet.

The boys have been really rotten lately. I have my hands full with them. They are into everything. One is fine alone but when you put the two together they are hell on wheels....

Tonight I have Hayden and Logan also. They are a wild crew together. Hayden and Landon are always arguing about something. They are more like brothers.

Today at Tyler's appointment they had to update all my information. They still had your old cell phone number in the system. She asked who Brandy was because you were still in the system as a contact. I told her you were deceased. She was trying to finish the page but couldn't get out of it unless she put in a zip code. She asked if I knew the zip code in heaven. I laughed and told her I didn't but if she found it to let me know because the boys are always wanting to send things to you in heaven.

I have been really busy with COPS. Lots going on recently. I did a payroll deduction for donation from Marion County. They have the cabinet done in the lobby with your picture and William Benders picture. They are still working on it. They plan to display different historical things in it. I offered to let them borrow your awards for display for a month or so. I thought all the guys would like to see them. I got the tape of the radio traffic. It bothered me more than I thought it would. It did give me a whole new perspective. I guess having been a dispatcher it made me see it in a whole new way, as a professional instead of as your wife. I could hear the panic and hopelessness in everyone's voices. I could tell everyone was trying to figure out what happened. One minute you say stand by the next you aren't answering them anymore. You sounded so upbeat at the beginning of the call. Then I could tell you were annoyed about something when you said Standby a minute. I was okay through the tape up until I heard the medic tell Matt to notify the ER of a trauma alert. Matt marked back requesting an ETA. They said, "3 seconds out CPR in progress." I started crying, I don't know why that bothered me so much. I guess it is the moment that you really knew the outcome of the call unless you were on the scene. Andy called the SO at one point. I could tell how panicked he was, he said he's not answering his 2-way either, where the heck was he. It is wierd because up until you sound annoyed saying Standby there was NO indiction that anything was wrong. You were just giving the guy a ride. As a dispatcher even then I wouldn't have been concerned with the way you said Standby.

Tyler wants Mommy to come watch Dora with him so I have to be going. Love you miss you more than ever.

Sara

February 14, 2006

Happy Valentines Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!

February 14, 2006

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY !!! I'M SURE TODAY IS ANOTHER SAD DAY FOR SARA AND THE BOYS.

STILL THINKING OF YOU EVERY DAY

February 14, 2006

Happy Valentine's Day Brandy. Please send angel hugs and kisses Sara and the boys way.

February 14, 2006

Brandy,
I think about every day. I have relatives in Law Enforcement,but I never gave a thought reguarding their saftey until 10-14-2004. Now I worry about them every day,not only when they are on duty but also when the are off duty.
Please watch over them for me.
Thank you so much my BLUE ANGEL.

A Marion Ohio resident.

February 11, 2006

Brandy,
You are still thought of and missed every single day.

February 9, 2006

Thank you for your courage. All of your fellow deputies and officers still think about you daily. God bless you and your loved ones.

Ofc. Robert M. Sagle #2254
Columbus Ohio Divsion of Police

February 3, 2006

Dear Sara,
Thanks so much for letting us be a part of your family by reading your reflections. Some days they bring tears, some days they bring laughter.......but always there is that common bond of our loss, our pride, our love, our pain......of being without the son, husband, brother, sister, uncle, aunt and on and on that they were and are to our lives.

I send my love to you and your precious little family.

Love,
Linda Rittenhouse
Mother of Officer Matthew Rittenhouse, HPD 920, E.O.W. 9/16/04

Linda Rittenhouse, Matt's Mom

February 1, 2006

Bran,
Today your baby boy turns 3. It is so hard to beleive that he is getting so big. Three years ago yesterday we went to OSU for the special ultra sound to check his kidneys. You could actually see his face and we were so amazed. We left there and stopped to get something to eat. They called saying they wanted to deliver him the next day. I called Dr. Raymond and he told me to come to the hospital. We went home. I paid all the bills so they were caught up while you ranted and raved about your office not giving you family leave. You were so upset. I called your Dad and asked if he could calm you down. I was worried enough about Tyler's kidneys and childbirth. I didn't need you upset. You finally calmed down when it was time to leave for the hospital.

At the hospital we ordered a pizza because they told me not to eat after midnight. You stayed at Missy's house that night. The next morning they were supposed to induce me. However women kept coming in fully dialated so they kept pushing me back. By the end of the day I was begging for food. They let me eat a cracker, the best cracker I ever had. Finally at six that night they induced me. Tyler was so much easier than Landon. I wasn't on all those nasty drugs. We were both so much calmer about the whole thing. I had Tyler around 10 that night. It only took about 10 pushes and he was out. You went to get Landon to show him his new brother. Without my knowledge because nobody wanted to freak me out Landon hit Tyler in the face when he wasn't even 10 minutes old. The fighting had already begun. I was starved and begged for food. I just wanted a Benny's Sub. Missy ran out to get me a sub. An hour after having Tyler I was setting up cross legged eating a Benny's sub.

You stayed with Landon that night and brought him to the hospital the next day. He wasn't real sure what to think. I remember when we brought him home Landon was at the rodeo with Missy. She brought Landon home. We had Tyler sleeping in our room so Landon could have our attention for a bit. I wheeled the bassinet out into the living room. Landon peeked over the top then looked at us like we were crazy. He couldn't beleive we brought that "thing" home with us.

Give Tyler Big Boy Birthday hugs. He is so funny. Today they both got in trouble for cracking eggs all over the house. Pretending they were Japanese Steakhouse Chefs. I caught Landon with the eggs so he got sent to his room and grounded from playstation for the day. He wanted to "talk" about it because he didn't think it was fair because Tyler helped make the mess. We sat down for a family discussion. I asked Tyler to tell me his side of the story and if he was helping with the egg cracking. He went into a VERY long explanation of how he woke up and Landon had the eggs, and this and that and so on. He had such a serious look on his face and such inflection in his voice that I had to hide my face in my hands to keep from laughing. Needless to say they both got in trouble. I just had to laugh at the way Tyler explained it all.

Landon is very excited for his birthday. He was asking me last night if he could have a Donald Duck birthday party and could Donald Duck be there. I said, "No Donald is pretty busy at Disney." Tyler piped up and said, "Maybe Mickey Mouse could come." They are so funny. Landon has been naming about 1000 different themes he wants for his birthday. Poor boy, it is still over a month before he birthday. Then our little baby will be 5. It seems like yesterday that I was calling to tell you I was pregnant with him. Wow 5 whole years.

I haven't been able to sleep. I need to sleep I have a busy schedule this week. I was up until 4am last night. My mind just goes crazy all night.

Mom, Mike, Hayden, Logan, the boys, and I are going to House of Japan for Tyler's birthday. At first I suggested Chuck E Cheese, but Mom kept calling it Chunky Cheese. After hearing that I just can't bring myself to eat Chunky Cheese. Tyler loves House of Japan. His birthday party is on Sunday. We are just staying home this year to have cake and ice cream. Mom, Dad, and Missy are coming over. I didn't want to deal with another huge birthday party. It was too much with the trip to Disney.

Tyler got accepted at Landon's school. He will start at the end of February. We have been working really hard on potty training so he can wear big boy underwear to school everyday. He has been doing really well.

Johnson's is still working on my paver patio. The boys go out everyday to help the big guys. I think they get a kick out of them. They get their little wheel barrel out and bring around one brick at a time. They are just too cute. It reminds me of them helping you in the yard.

Well it is 2am and I need to sleep. I have to get up early tomorrow.

Missing you very much. Love you.

Sara

January 31, 2006

Bran,

Disney was fun. I think all the kids had a really good time. They really enjoyed meeting the characters. We all missed you being there with us. It was supposed to be our families there together. We knew you were there though, we caught the signs, there were several. Meeting "Terry McDowell" was a big one. I think Rick being the only guy there he really missed you. I know he was thinking of the things you guys could have been doing together and the harassment you could have passed out to us girls. He rented a boat one day and took Hayden out for 1/2 hour and then came back and got Landon and took him out. He said Bran would have been out there with me with Landon and I would have had Hayden and we probably would have gotten kicked off the lake for being stupid. I couldn't help but think he was right.

Last night I went to Sara's for dinner. Chris had come up - he wanted to watch your videos that Sara had. I sat and watched the tribute to you and I can't help but cry everytime I see that video and how happy those kids made you. The pictures of how happy you always were with family and friends you always smiled, but with the boys it was a different smile. You seemed complete with them, so happy with what had become of your life at that point. It's hard to think that someone else got to choose to take that away from you, from your boys and my sister and from your family.

On a lighter note, I have noticed lately that Landon's feet are extremely tickilish. I had him down last night tickeling him on the feet and he was giggling so hard. He was funny. During our trip he told Rick - "Uncle Rick, Your head's on backwards" - it was sooo funny at the time. And little Tyler - watching that video last night, he seemed so little at the time, he seems so big now. He acts like he's 5 and sometimes it's hard to remember that he isn't. Logan is still the little princess of the family and Hayden is getting really big. I can't believe the changes in the kids in the time since you've been gone. It's big.

We'll poker run meetings have started and Chris is raring to go. He can't wait. Bigger and better this year I think and already talking about '07 plans as well!!!

Keep watching us. We see you.

We miss you and love you

Mis

missy

January 27, 2006

I have never met you, but I always read your husband's reflections that you and others leave. I first came to Brandy's page when it was one year from the day he was taken away from you and your kids. I left a reflection then and I feel like I need to leave one again. You seem like a strong person and you are really holding it together for your boys. It breaks my heart to know that there are so many people going through what you have to go through. My friend was also killed in the line of duty. His girlfriend, Kirsten, has a 3 year-old son that she is raising on her own because Nick was killed 2 years ago this Monday coming up. I look at you, her, and everyone else and it amazes me how strong you all are. If there were something I could say or do to make things easier, I would do that in a heartbeat.

It breaks my heart when I read the reflections you leave. All the things your kids say and feel makes me so sad. I remember reading the reflection awhile ago about you taking one of your son's to see the fire truck and having to explain what happened to his daddy. Why should someone have to go through this? It breaks my heart to think that there are so many kids growing up without their mommies or daddies because some jerks took their innocent, happy lives. I just want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts.

Tracie
Friend of Nick Sloan EOW 1/30/04

January 25, 2006

Bran,
Disney was amazing. The kids loved it!! Landon rode his first big roller coaster. We did Thunder Mountain first and he loved it. Missy looked up and there was a hawk sitting on top of the mountain next to the roller coaster. We took a picture of it. I knew you were watching your little man on his first roller coaster ride. Landon also rode Space Mountain, which was his favorite. I felt so bad because Ty wasn't big enough to ride any of the roller coasters. I know he would have loved them, he has that spirit. Maybe next time.... We rode Soarin at Epcot and I have to say that was my favorite. They appeal to every sense. We all got Mickey Mouse ears with our names on the back. It was like being 8 years old again. The boys were exhausted at the end of the trip. One night Ty told me I don't want to go see Mickey again tomorrow, he makes me tired.

We all missed you so much. You were there in all of our hearts. So many times we commented on Bran would have loved this or that. I could see you in my mind with your classic grin, having more fun than the kids. The boys drove the race cars and I knew that if you were there we would have had to do it 10 more times. You and Rick would have been like a couple little boys...I know Rick really missed you. He said, "I wish we would have had the chance to do this when Brandy was alive." We all had some good trips down memory lane about you and some of the funny things you did. Rick told me about the picture of my butt crack. I didn't even know you did that. He was cracking up just thinking about it. He said I was bent over at Hayden's birthday party and he was taking pictures of my butt crack. You saw what was happening, you came up and started hugging on me with your hands in my back pocket pulling my pants down farther so he could get better pictures. JERKS!!! Always working together to drive my sister and I crazy and loving every minute of it.

Landon broke my heart one morning on our trip. He tied a balloon around his waist went out on the balcony and said he was going to float up to heaven to see his Daddy. He was determined to do it. I had the talk with him about God deciding when you get to go to heaven with him again.

On the last day we released our Micky Mouse balloons off the balcony as a souvenier for Daddy. He really liked that.

Love you and missing you very much.

Sara

January 24, 2006

As I rushed to my brothers and sisters side, you came to mind. The heartache and pain came rushing back to me. "Brandy a little over a year ago, and now my friend Ethan." The sadness and emotions that all who knew you felt the day you went "home",I was feeling. Our department has 75 Deputies, and my wife is one of the Dispatchers. She, as well as our other staff were in shock when we heard the news about Ethans death. I have met your wife in passing at events in the past, as well of the other girls from COPS.The night when we all gathered at our station we heard all the talk from CIT groups, the Sheriff , the Chief...but the one thing I knew I needed to do is somehow get in touch with Sara and the others. It's at times like this when I wanted people there that know the pain I'm going through. Bran, Brian, Melissa, Frank, Terry, I know you are proud of what you seen...the way your loved ones embraced me, and my fellow Deputies in our time of great sorrow. Another fine Deputy joins you. He was my back-up, my co-worker...my friend. Bran, look after him will you, and watch over us peacemakers as we continue to fight. Go now unit 268 and join unit 6, we have it from here my brothers. My thanks to COPS and helping Kylie at here time of need, as know she too will be part of your family.

Deputy Frank "Farva" Diamond #321

January 19, 2006

Know Bran is your co-pilot on todays flight! HAVE A GOOD TIME!!!!

LAURIE

January 14, 2006

Bran,
Tomorrow morning we are off on our big family trip. The boys are so excited. Landon kept telling me Saturday was way too long away. You are coming along in all our hearts.

Tonight my heart hurts looking at Landon. He looks so much like you and has so many of your mannerisms. Most of the time that makes me smile, I know you are here with me. However tonight my heart just aches. He is starting to look like a little boy. Not our little toddler anymore. He is growing up so fast....He is so smart. You would beam with pride at our little guy.

I was asking him about Hayden's hamster. He is so matter of fact about it....I guess he gets that from me. He said it was the white one, not the black and Hayden is way bigger sad. Strange how the things you think might effect them they have no reaction to at all. However they react to the smallest things that you see as no big deal....That is what makes all of this so difficult.

When I went to tuck Landon in I found Tyler already asleep in bed. He has been worn out from Pre-school this week. He really likes it but he is just really tired. When he came in the door the other day, I was waiting with a million questions. How was your first day of pre-school, what did you do, who is your teacher, did you make any friends? I bombarded him. He just matter of factly looked at me and said, "Michael hit me." That is all he would tell me. He wasn't upset about it he was just reporting the day. Luckily Tyler didn't hit him back....I will know when I get back if he is accepted into the program. I am really hoping that he is, I know he will really like it.

We miss you more than anything in the world. We know you are here with us everyday in our hearts and memories...Sometimes that just isn't enough though. We LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Sara

January 13, 2006

Bran - Well tomorrow we are off to Disney. Your boys first plane ride. I think they are excited. I walked in the house the other night and Landon said Hi and I said are you ready to go to Disney? And he said Right now? you know the excited big eyed split your face in two grin he gets. I said No on Saturday. We will miss you but know you will be with us.

I'm gonna need your help today. Hayden's hampster just died. Rick just called to tell me, so I have to tell him when he gets home from school. I will have the boys with me also so hopefully this won't cause a big Q & A with Landon. I know Hayden will have a huge display of emotion. I think with Keyta, you, grandpa and now this stinking hampster that Hayden has dealt with enough death in his life that we could be done for awhile. I know just a hampster but it's a big deal to Hayden. I remember when your hampster died - Sara called and said I think Bran's hampster is dead it has stuff hanging out its butt. She is always so matter of fact about everything. Guess I should warn her in case she gets bombarded with Q & A from Landon.

We will be thinking of you on our trip and miss you so much. Watch over us and make sure we have a fun safe trip.

Love ya, Miss ya,

Mis

missy

January 13, 2006

BRAN, WATCH OVER SARA AND THE BOYS AS THEY TAKE THEIR LONG AWAITED TRIP TO SEE MICKEY! WE KNOW YOU WILL BE WITH THEM JUST IN A DIFFERENT WAY!

January 13, 2006

Bran,
Just wanted to say hey and to let you know I can now wrtie more. I finally quit being so cheap and bought my own computer. Instead of going to moms and using hers. Although still trying to figure out how to use it. I'll write more later. Don't want to burn the chicken.
I love and miss you
very much.
Manda

January 11, 2006

Dear famiy of Deputy Winfield,

I wanted to take a moment to let you know that you are all in my thoughts and prayers as you begin another New Year without your beloved Brandy.

I lost my husband 9 months ago in the line of duty, and am also left to raise two children on my own. This is a very painful journey that I never expected to take. I find it to be such a comfort to come to the ODMP and read about families - like yours - who have survived and are continuing on. It gives me hope.

I am looking forward to meeting you in Washington in May when our husbands, and all the other heroes who made the ultimate sacrifice, are honored.

Thank you, Deputy Winfield, for your service and sacrifice. May God bless you and may you rest in peace, Blue Angel.

Carin E. Sollman
widow of Officer Jesse E. Sollman, EOW 3/25/05

January 10, 2006

Brandy-

Even though we never met, I feel as if I know you from experiencing your memorial room, all of the awesome pictures, awards, and memorabalia at Sara's home...which brings me to why I am writing tonight. If ones who have left this earth can really see what's happening down here, I know that you must be beaming with pride as you watch Sara. She is so committed to Ohio COPS. After Bryan's death, I'm ashamed to say that I didn't participate in many of the COPS events. I thought that I could get through this on my own. Well, let me tell you, Sara has been such an inspiration with the way she carries herself and so obviously cares about this cause - she is the perfect example of dignity and grace.

Watch over us tomorrow as we bury another of our own.

Say hi to Bryan for Malia and I.

-Marissa and Malia Hurst

Marissa
Delaware County SO

January 8, 2006

Sara, I Hope You and The Boys Have A Wonderful Time at Disney!!!!!!!!!!!

January 7, 2006

Bran,
As you know another Ohio officer has joined the ranks in heaven to serve on God's brilliant force he is building. Show Ethan the ropes up there....

I am exhausted from running the past couple of days and preparing for another funeral. We met the family and I see so many familiar emotions. It really opens the floodgates. I am so proud of all the people from our group. We have some really amazing people working with us. It feels so amazing to be able to reassure a new family. I am sad yet proud that we can be there to start this journey with them. I am proud that we have such a wonderful group of people that are willing to take this family's hand and walk beside them as they begin this journey. I am so proud that you taught me so much about giving to others. About being proud to do something. I feel the pride in Ohio COPS that you felt every night when you put on your uniform and walked out our door. I know you and our corp group of guys are up there smiling down as you watch us work.

I have heard people call us professional mourners before....well I am proud to be a professional at it. I am glad to be able to share my experience with another family. If my new "profession" helps another family in this journey then I will wear it as a badge of pride.

I called Linda tonight to let her know how we were doing with the first death since she moved away. I could hear her beaming with pride that we are following in her footsteps and continuing her dream. She is such an inspiration to us all.

I saw the sign today and smiled. I was nervously driving downtown on 70 E. I looked over and the medic beside me was none other than Medic 6. I smiled and continued on with new confidence. I knew you were my passenger and you were cheering me on.....

The other night when Angie called saying we needed to go to the department I started to get the boys ready. Tyler started to throw a fit with me. I told him Mommy had to go help a family that lost a police officer. They saw some of the media coverage and had a lot of questions. I had explained it to them earlier. When I told Tyler that he calmed right down. He got ready with no problems. When we got to Missy's house he proudly told her Mommy was going to help that policeman's friends and family. Landon is so concerned for them all. He kept asking if he could go see them. Of course I just can't do that. I thought about letting him draw a picture that I can take down to the department or something. Something that will make him feel better and be able to express how he feels. They are spending the weekend with your parents. It was so hard to come home after the day today and not have them to hug. I just know that i will be so busy this weekend and they will have fun at your parents. Plus we are leaving for Disney Friday so it is the last weekend for a couple of weeks that they can spend with your Mom and Dad.

Landon pulled out the YMCA brochure the other night. He wants to sign up for (get this you would be so proud of your busy little guy)....soccer, swim lessons, indoor t-ball, early summer t-ball, late summer t-ball, and football. Brandy Jr should have been his name.... And of course Tyler wants to do tumbling classes and swim lessons.....NOT MY FAULT I SWEAR TO YOU.......

When Missy watched the boys the other night Tyler tried to do Logan's hair at her new vanity set. He covered it in lotion and made her very pretty. Missy called asking how I got the Vick's Vapo Rub out of his hair when he did it to himself. Needless to say Logan's hear is shiny, soft, and very pretty thanks to Ty Ty. The same day he colored himself in marker and dumped calamine lotion all over my carpet. He is so rotten.

Johnson's is starting my paver patio. Jake and another guy have been out working the yard some. Of course I had to be mouthy....you know why. I introduced myself to the other guy because I never met him. I said, "Jake and I know each other well, we've always hated each other." It was a joke, I am over it now. It was still fun to poke at him a little. Hopefully he doesn't do a bad job on purpose. Maybe I should learn to keep my mouth shut huh??? You always said he was good at patios though....so I guess I will trust nobody else to do it. I know Jay wouldn't let mine get messed up anyway. Landon wanted to go out in the yard and help them. He had his little wheel barrel out there. The wheel barrel they helped you in the yard with.....

I talked to Marissa tonight. It was one year ago today that Bryan was killed. I am so proud of how she is handling herself. She is amazing. She cracks me up. She has such the same sense of humor that I have. I called to ask if she listened to any Britney today or mmbop to make her feel better. I know how important laughter is to the healing process.....if you can laugh you can heal. She can offer such insight into the mind of a deputy also. We had a long conversation about some issues that had been bothering me. It really made me feel so much better about some of those little things that nag at me.....She said some things I had never really thought about and maybe it answered some of those questions about why some things happened the way they did. She was actually involved in an arrest of Cruz before you encountered him. This world is so freaky sometimes. Krissy and I share the same birthday hours apart, Marissa helped arrest the guy that ended up killing you later, I trained new dispatchers using the transcripts from Dan and Ron's death, I attended Frank's funeral with you.....it is just so intertwined sometimes. Like a path was chosen for us, a destiny with all these events leading us to this.

We had the discussion today about the premonition of death. That somehow you guys knew this was going to happen to you. Those little things you did different. Saying I love you twice with the pause.... How would you know that walking out the door that night was different..... Or maybe we just find those little cues because at the end of the day it was different. I still beleive there is some premonition for some people. You lived life fast because you knew you didn't have long to accomplish everything you wanted.

Well at the end of this week one of our dreams for our family will be coming true when we walk through the gates of Disney. I just can't wait. The timing is perfect too. I will need this break after this week. I can't wait to watch our two little guys. They are going to have so much fun. The airplane ride alone will be a dream come true for the two of them.

Well I have rambled on enough tonight..I love you....missing as much as ever.

Sara

January 7, 2006

Sara, have a wonderful time at Disney! You will love it here! Make sure you go on SOARING! Its great. Have a safe trip!

wife of leo melbourne florida

January 6, 2006

hey brandy,
well a fairfield county deputy joined you today it was a very bad accident show him the ropes up there.

sara i know you will embrace his family just as you were embraced not to long ago
always in my thoughts and prayers

January 4, 2006

Hey Brandy,

I haven't been on here in awhile. I was just catching up on all your relfections. Everyone still misses you so much.


P.S. Oscar joined you a few hours ago, please take care of him and show him around. There are alot of people down here who are gonna miss him so much. And please send down an Angel hug to my sister, she was with him when it happended and she can really use it right now.

Amy
Marion, Ohio

January 3, 2006